View Full Version : Thanks for your service. BTW, we're taking your kids

09-06-2005, 01:11 PM
The more of this crap I read, the more I believe we need to just start taking these people out. This is how we treat our troops? :mad:

Family court ruling wounds National Guardsman in the heart
Phyllis Schlafly (archive (http://www.townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/archive.shtml))
September 5, 2005 | http://www.townhall.com/images/icon_print.gif Print (http://www.townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/printps20050905.shtml) | http://www.townhall.com/images/icon_email.gif Recommend to a friend (http://www.townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/ps20050905.shtml#)


Gallant Americans are risking life and limb in Iraq to defend home and country. But they never dreamed they might lose their children, too.

When Army National Guard Spc. Joe McNeilly of Grand Ledge, Mich., came home after 15 months in Iraq, he found that a family court "referee" had taken away his joint custody of his 10-year-old son and given full custody and control to the boy's mother.

For five years, McNeilly had had a 50-50 no-problem custody arrangement with his ex-girlfriend Holly Erb. When called up to go to Iraq, he gave her temporary full custody while he was overseas.

While he was gone, Erb persuaded a family court to make her full custody permanent. When McNeilly protested, he was told that his year-long absence constituted abandonment and produced custody "points" against him.

"You want to make a soldier cry, you take his son away," McNeilly said. "It's devastating."
Michigan State Rep. Rick Jones became interested in this injustice. When he contacted the Judge Advocate General's office, he discovered that there are 15 to 20 similar cases in Michigan and it is a common problem all over the United States.

Jones has introduced legislation (HB 5100) providing that absences for military service cannot be used against a parent and that a permanent custody arrangement cannot be established while a parent is on active duty. He is hearing from legislators in other states who want to sponsor similar bills.

Since McNeilly's case was reported in the press, Erb's lawyer and the court's representative are trying to claim that depriving him of his father's rights wasn't because he was serving in Iraq, but because of his poor parenting skills.

The proof? McNeilly sent a couple of postcards to his son that showed soldiers training with a gun. Horrors! How un-politically correct to tell a son that soldiers in Iraq carry guns.
Erb's lawyer asserted that the postcards frightened the boy and showed that McNeilly is not a fit parent. But surely the boy had a right to know about his father's career and that soldiers who use guns are pursuing an honorable vocation.

The referee's report also justified deciding for mother custody because she was the "day-to-day caretaker and decision maker in the child's life" while McNeilly was deployed. But that's what mothers have always done when their men go off to war and it's no argument for taking the child away from his father upon return.

Day-to-day caretaker is feminist jargon to promote their ideology that the mother should have full custody and control because the father is not around to change diapers and do household chores. He is merely working a job, or sometimes two jobs, to support his family.

Follow the money to explain some of the motivation. When the mother was given full custody, the court ordered McNeilly to pay her $525 a month, which she would lose if they return to joint custody.

The real problem in this case is the arrogance of family courts, which claim the right to decide child custody based on their subjective personal opinions about the "best interest of the child." Family court judges, and the psychologists and referees they hire, routinely violate the fundamental right of parents to make their own decisions about the best interest of their own children.

Family courts are subjective and arbitrary, so unlucky divorced parents could get a judge or a referee who is anti-gun, or anti-military, or anti-spanking, or anti-homeschooling, or anti-religion, or a feminist who wants to transform the middle class into a matriarchal society as has already been done to the welfare class, with tragic results.

The notion that family court judges, psychologists and referees can impose personal views about what is "the best interest of the child" rather than a child's own parents is just another way of saying "it takes a village to raise a child." Thousands of good fathers have been deprived of their fundamental rights in the care and upbringing of their children by courts that treat fathers as good for nothing more than a paycheck.

The large number of fathers who have been the victims of family-court fatherphobia is no doubt the reason that one of the most popular songs on country music stations this year is Tim McGraw's "Do You Want Fries with That?" The lyrics are the cry of a father who is working a minimum-wage second job in a fast-food restaurant, living alone in a tent, after being ordered by a judge to support his children living in his house with his ex-wife and her boyfriend.

The father laments, "You took my wife, and you took my kids, and you stole the life that I used to live; my pride, the pool, the boat, my tools, my dreams, the dog, the cat."

09-11-2005, 01:27 PM
This is absolutely horrible. Im with you, take em out.

09-11-2005, 08:07 PM
If you see any word about a defense fund for this guy, please pass it along.

It's absolutely ridiculous that a court would do this in a parents absence.

09-16-2005, 05:47 PM
This is just another example of what happens when pinko-commie...ahem bleeding heart liberals do when they are in power.

I think we should all get a little money together and sue the "referee" on behalf of this soldier and all others that have been illegally denied their parental responsibilities.

09-16-2005, 05:56 PM
This is just wrong if you guys find what we can do ( letters , petitions , money ) let me know please.

10-03-2005, 12:05 PM
Thank you for your support -- ALL OF YOU. This past 7 months since I've been home have been horrible. Not to mention, while I was deployed, the mother went out of her way to limit communications between Joey and I. She's done it again since I've been home. She won't answer the phone (ie.caller id), she won't hand messages over to Joey so he can call me back, the latest is that she won't let him use Yahoo Messenger anymore which has been our primary means of communcation. Joey will often email me and say "hey dad, did you jsut try to call becuase I saw your number on the caller id and mom wouldn't let me answer it. So, actually, the last 2 years now......have been hell.

Lawyer bills are sky rocketing as I'm still trying to pay of the $25,000 bill from the first legal battle that started 8 years ago. My current bill for the past couple months has already grown to about $6,000. I'm sure it will increase even more with the games she plays.

Tuesday of last week we testified in front of the House of Rep's Family and Child Services Committee and things went well. The person that was opossing our legislation got an earful from the committe members. It was great!! I got a call from a female SPC in Alabama stating she totally lost custody becuase of her service in Iraq as well. I'm working with her to get the ball rolling so she to can do in Alabama what we are doing here in Michigan.

Please feel free to check out our webpage and email us with any comments or if you know someone in this same situation, let us know and we'll see what we can do to help get them going. Our email address is on the main webpage. Send us an email with your contact info if you need us to contact you. If you are in the Army, you can find my personal contact info (with phone number) within AKO. Just login to AKO, click WHITE PAGES in the upper left hand corner, then put in my name.

God Bless.

Joseph W. McNeilly, Sr.
Land of the Free...because of the Brave **==

10-03-2005, 01:18 PM
I wish you all the luck one can have...the child welfare and family courts systems are one of the most messed up things I can think of. SOME of the folks they get for social workers and judges I suspect come from another planet.(only explanation I can come up with)
today was my last child support payment after 13 years....and my son hardly cares if I exsist after the job mom and grandma done over the years. Thats one of the deepist wounds to bear, brother.

10-03-2005, 02:51 PM
I hope all works out for you mcjoeman.I will never understand how things like that are allowed to happen.

John, I hope when your son gets older he matures enough that he decides to think more on his own and decides to look you up and find out who you really are. Although we have never met, I personally think you are a good person inside and he, in time, will see that.

10-03-2005, 07:50 PM
Lawyer bills are sky rocketing as I'm still trying to pay of the $25,000 bill from the first legal battle that started 8 years ago. My current bill for the past couple months has already grown to about $6,000. I'm sure it will increase even more with the games she plays.

Joe, I feel your pain. Living without your kids is, at best, difficult. Not being able to talk to your kid whenever you want has to be hell. I went to your web page and looked around. The pictures are great. Your son must have had a blast. What I didn't see was a place to help monitarily. If you have a trust set up I'm sure there are many that would be willing to contribute to this most worthy cause. If I missed something let me know.

Best of luck