View Full Version : How to save the Planet by Sheryl Crow

04-23-2007, 03:16 PM
From her blog
Apr 19th Stop Global Warming College Tour : Sheryl & Laurie Go to School : Sheryl Blog

"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve". The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold."

Yes... that is how she spells squares and judgment and height and wastefulness.

So let's all follow her genius and SAVE THE PLANET!!!! :lmao: :eek: :lmao:

I also think instead of wiping your mouth on a sleeve we should all eat bare chested so we can wipe all the food and grease on our bodies (just like the cave men) so we won't have to use water and electricity to wash our "dining sleeve"!
:MM :D

04-23-2007, 03:22 PM
She is how I spell crazy. :)

04-23-2007, 04:24 PM
I feel sorry for her boyfriend, and whomever has the unpleasant task of washing her clothes.

04-23-2007, 04:43 PM
She is in the same boat with my tree hugger relatives.

04-23-2007, 04:46 PM
I can see why Lance Armstrong broke up with her.

04-23-2007, 05:12 PM
Why can't we all just live like Al Gore? Wouldn't that have an effect on the planet?

04-23-2007, 05:56 PM
I guess Sheryl doesn't know that you can grow trees. She knows as much about the environment like Carolyn McCarthy knows about barrel shrouds. :lmao:

04-23-2007, 05:57 PM
I can see why Lance Armstrong broke up with her.
Yep, her butt stinks. :)

04-24-2007, 04:03 AM
"Global Warming" is all bunk to boot. Environmentalism and liberal politics run amok.

04-24-2007, 11:09 AM
I kept reading, really expecting a punch line.
I don't know what toilet paper SHE uses, but the stuff we have?? One square? Only if I wanted something on my hands that shouldn't be there...
That is the only drawback to having worked for a state environmental agency. I've combed through the data and global warming is real. Its a cyclical event that is actually about 100 years late this time. There is no link to it being caused by man. The earth simply has warm and cool cycles. We happen to be heading into a warm cycle.
The environmentalists will whine til they get their way and thousands of years from now, there will be a new crop of environmentalists trying to get man to help stop global cooling.
Chicken Little syndrome exaserbated by Follow the Leader...

black campbell
04-24-2007, 11:34 AM
This is why I barely watch/listen to various entertainment anymore. These people don't deserve my money. They certainly don't deserve my respect. Actor, musician...if they're talking in real life, I don't even listen anymore.

04-24-2007, 12:21 PM
There is a great deal of proof to the cyclical nature of weather.The dem liberal just don't want it to be right becuase that would make them wrong. Sounds like my ex.Horrible woman.

04-30-2007, 02:40 AM
Hey, anyone that has mastered 6 to 10 guitar cords the way she did has to be smarter
then most of the worlds top scientists and physicists. Maybe with all that intelligence we
should be keeping her in some type of top secret government controlled secure site so our experts could learn from her: God forbid some crazed fan should harm her... it could set back the progress of our whole civilization thousands of years.... no wait we'd still have Al gore to save us. Well anyway, I thank god she is already on her "early stage of development" and I canceled my order for the house boat.

Medula Oblongata
04-30-2007, 02:56 AM

04-30-2007, 08:43 AM
I told my air resources engineering teacher about this and she just laughed at sheryl crow's ignorance and said this idea is laughable

04-30-2007, 10:27 AM
when i was in college, some kids got into a "save the napkins" phase and attached fliers to every napkin bin in the campus cafeterias. the propaganda of making decisions based on surface result issues rather than principle and logical outcome bothered me. instead of paying attention in thermo, i wrote this, then placed stacks of copies of it underneath every napkin basket:

Support your country—kill the napkins.

By freely using cafeteria supplied napkins in any way you see fit, you support the cafeteria in the demand and search for higher quality, lower priced napkins. Such free market endeavors, of course, create competition between napkin manufacturers and marketers thereby spurring economic growth. Through this capitalistic phenomenon, which is basic economic principle, wealth is created, thus increasing the standard of living. Furthermore, the improved economy more securely defends our country’s physical borders: a better economy unleashes better finances for military defense; education and intelligence of the masses rise, show us to wisely use resources and prevent the invasion of dangerous, wide-scale anti-democratic uprisings (such as the socialist-flavored “environmentalists”). Finally, more wealth sparks technological ways of eliminating waste and improves awareness regarding our nation’s trees. The improved economy empowers us to plant more trees therefore eliminating any issue in the first place. The bottom line: we will be more able to re-plant and restore the renewable resource that is the tree.

Clearly, when facing an important issue, one should research and learn as much as possible in order to make an informed, intelligent decision.

Your decision matters. You hold the fate of our country. Be aware. For the sake of the children, exercise educated discretion. Even when using napkins…

04-30-2007, 12:33 PM
Haha, they probably wasted as much paper printing the fliers

04-30-2007, 01:09 PM
Obviously, there are not enough ex-GI's here to know that Ms. Crow was on the right track. If you have never been instructed in the proper eight-step process for waste removal using one sheet of paper, pay heed:

1. Take one standard sheet of paper (letter size).

2. Carefully fold sheet in half making a sharp military crease.

3. Again fold sheet, now to quarter size also making a sharp crease.

4. At the corner where the folds meet, tear a small piece at the corner off at a 45 degree angle. Set this piece aside for later use.

5. Open the sheet of paper and insert your middle finger into the hole, which, if folded properly, should be at the center of the page.

6. Reach down, wipe any waste away vigorously with your finger well centered in the appropriate orifice (for the girls; this works front or back).

7. Using your other hand, fold the paper up around your finger wiping any residue from the finger onto the sheet of paper. Discard paper.

8. Taking the small corner piece previously removed from the sheet, carefully clean under the fingernail with the tightly folded piece as a pick. You may discard this now, or save it as a field expedient toothpick for later re-use.

Medula Oblongata
04-30-2007, 04:00 PM
Been there, done that. I made buku bucks filling half my personal Humvee with TP and selling it out the back during field ops.. Until I got caught. Then I had to make 'sizeable' donations to the NCO fund... :(

04-30-2007, 06:07 PM
I found it amazing the number of 'care packages' with diaper wipes in there. Just how young are we recruiting these days!?!


Medula Oblongata
04-30-2007, 08:09 PM
I keep baby wipes in the bathroom, even during times when my children weren't in diapers. There really is nothing like a nice, clean, odor free pututti. :)

This is why I like the bedet, not only is your butt clean, but it gets a warm water massage while its getting that way.. No 'skid marks' for me, no sir... I just wish I still had one...

In all honesty, having remodeled and built new sewage treatment plants, I will say this. Toilet paper is not good for the environment, sewage treatment facilities (face it, without them, we would be back to the times of rampant plagues and festeringly filthy cities thatwere disease time bombs waiting to explode), and people's front yards-trees-bushes during HS graduation times.

I would rather see people owning a bedet or an electric inseneration toilet over flushing TP. However, I don't like anyone telling me what to do with my ass, or how to wipe it.

04-30-2007, 08:50 PM
MO. what exactly did you do? That's what Im going for school for, water and wastewater treatment plant design and pipe networking.

Medula Oblongata
04-30-2007, 08:55 PM
By education I'm an electrical engineer, although I've always worked in the construction side.

I have rebuilt 'head works' conveyors, digestion tank motor controls, floodgate and lift station controls, the entire PLC controllers for the entire stations, etc.

If it carried current, I worked on it.