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UrsusB
02-16-2007, 10:50 PM
:sheriff

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask
the score of the ga me in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought
her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach, and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
Remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing
(i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
her to drive yours.
26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
orange or sky blue.
27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story.
28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.
29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with
The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or
are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the
guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your
collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the
balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

btown02
02-16-2007, 11:49 PM
Good one.

abpt1
02-16-2007, 11:52 PM
"27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story."


no she gets a xbox360

jmz5
02-16-2007, 11:55 PM
Manlaw commercials are great.

EARS
02-17-2007, 06:39 AM
Really great!

Medula Oblongata
02-17-2007, 06:45 AM
"27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story."


no she gets a xbox360

When my wife said that I got her a Beretta NEOS.. I guess it was the right thing, she immediately ordered me to the bedroom, then the range.. Neither gun was firing blanks, btw, hence the soon-to-be little MO thats on the way.. :D

rangermonroe
02-17-2007, 09:38 AM
I loved the last one. Not that I shall use it, but it will bring a smile to my face when I have the opportunity later this evening.

Roland L
02-17-2007, 10:05 AM
Nice one,

There was a discussion of Man Law the other day for a pending Bachelor Party, this should clear it right up :D