View Full Version : Funny Police Stereotypes

02-10-2007, 10:07 PM
Funny cop stereotypes

Narcotics units

Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.

SWAT units

Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.

Community Service units

Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors.
Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.

School Resource Officers

Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
Knows every coffe pot location on campus
Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
Really hates kids but loves the hours
Only talks to the really hot teachers
Only works at night when there is a football game
Drives a golf cart all day on campus

Traffic units

Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

Administrative Units

Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a "meeting".
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.

Patrol Units

Has nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol.
Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot


Come in at 0800
"Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030>
Work from 1030 to Noon to 1400 Work out and Lunch
1400-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how
the wife doesn't know. Plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.

Patrol Sergeant

Remembers very well "how we used to do it."
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
Talks about "what he's hearing from upstairs."


Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Arrives for work three hours early.
Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container

02-10-2007, 10:09 PM


02-10-2007, 10:13 PM
Posting MO's material. :D

02-11-2007, 01:37 AM
No Comment to easy

02-11-2007, 02:54 AM
:o lol I never seen M.O. post

02-11-2007, 06:36 AM
Do we have a copy right violation? How much is this going to cost?

02-11-2007, 08:53 AM
I blame it on my little brother ..who is also a LEO, that sent it to me in a email lol...it is making the rounds I guess.

02-12-2007, 02:11 PM
lol...so if i wore oakleys and boots daily, would i be a wannabe swat?

02-12-2007, 02:13 PM
lol...so if i wore oakleys and boots daily, would i be a wannabe swat?
You'd be next in line when they had a wannabe position come open. :)

02-12-2007, 05:29 PM
Dang...I wear Oakley's and boots every day. I don't wanna be a SWAT. I don't even wanna be a 'Wanna-B-SWAT'. I had enough of that mentality in the military!