PDA

View Full Version : Purpose of the barcode?


Slimjim
10-08-2006, 05:59 PM
Does anyone know what the barcodes purpose is, i suspect its for FN in house inventory/records.

p99guy
10-08-2006, 06:11 PM
bingo! ...that is indeed the purpose.

Medula Oblongata
10-08-2006, 08:26 PM
Its not actually a barcode, thats just what they want you to think.

Its actually a radioactive isotopic RFID that satellites can track. In the interest of keeping the Illuminati from finding out who owns a FiveseveN, I suggest you immediately dispose of the "barcode" by throwing it away in the dumpster of a grocery store in a neighboring town.

Even if you do this, they may have already tracked you down, so the black Helocopters you see may in all actuality by looking for you.

If you suspect this is the case, may I suggest this?

http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

Guaranteed to help, or your money back.

EARS
10-08-2006, 09:58 PM
Good MO, good!

jmz5
10-09-2006, 12:43 AM
haha, nice one

panzermk2
10-09-2006, 02:53 AM
WOW I put the bar code sticker on my dish remote. Now all the black copters hovering over my house is now explained

Medula Oblongata
10-09-2006, 05:20 AM
Another viable way to destroy the barcode, which is nuclear hardened, is to place it in the microwave oven on top of a bag of popcorn. The metallic pad, or microwave intensifier, in the popcorn bag directs the microwave radiation upwards into the corn (and by default the barcode of doom) at levels only previously possible in tritium research reactors, where the barcode was origionally manufactured.

This monumental increase in microwave radiation is believed to cause the radioactive isotopes imbeded in the barcode to become disorganized and the tracking signal is therefore lost.

While this is not a proven method, and the barcode should still be dumped as far away from where you live as possible, it is feasable that disrupting the signal will confuse the MIB long enough for you to make a dash for safety, preferably to the Titon Range in Idaho.

Make sure to wear your AFDB the entire time you begin to do this, or the CIA's mind control beam may physically stop you from microwaving your barcode.

Additionally, attaching a chain made from at least 50 linked paper clips to the collar of your shirt will aid in the disruption of mind control rays.

RESIST THE POWER!!!

EARS
10-09-2006, 06:38 AM
I am amazed by some of your threads. The information is complete. I sometimes wish I had your knowledge on so many subjects. Than again, there is sometimes I'm glad I don't.
MO, you are diffently beyond words.

Medula Oblongata
10-09-2006, 06:48 AM
Thanks!

I'm actually considering writing a short (comedy) book that includes recipes and humor.

If I ever get it off the ground, I hope I find an audience.

Rypht
10-09-2006, 09:52 AM
might I suggest a post apocalypse cookbook? cheesy 50's duck and cover type themes, real recipes but with an end of the world flair!

course it's a slight rip off of the game Fallout, but hey, they weren't the first to make fun of the blissful reassurance from the government that hiding under a newspaper could protect you from radiation

Medula Oblongata
10-09-2006, 10:27 AM
But hiding under a newspaper CAN protect you from radiation... At least from the Alpha particles, and newspaper can actually shield One from thermal radiation because of its light color. It reflects much of the heat, that is until it bursts into flames.. Hey wait, it could be THE perfect self igniting charcoal starter!!! Talk about your "spontaneous human combustion..."

I think I will have many chapters dedicated to many different cultures and themes, while poking fun at their nuances... Imagine what the chapter on French cooking would be like, or Samoan...

Yeah, I may have to actually start writing it one of these days...

btown02
10-09-2006, 12:14 PM
We've went from inventory tracking, to cookbooks, to radiation. Remember the topic? Barcode on the FN weapons. :)

Medula Oblongata
10-09-2006, 10:35 PM
Well, in some twisted circular logic, its all relevant...

Radioactive barcode defense = newspaper

Post apocalypic cook book = reading material for one who disposes of barcode and heads to Idaho.

Once in Idaho, the AFDB can also be used for cooking, and once finished, returned to the cranium for protection. It also makes a great sun porch, windshield cover for hot days, antenna for broadcast TV, hair bleaching accessories, and a way to protect firearms temporarily if they need to be buried if a black helicopter is spotted...

Its all good! :MM

Wehrwulf
10-14-2006, 10:51 AM
Well hiding under a news paper can protect you from radiation... alpha rays & beta rays connot penetrate the paper, nor can they penetrate the skin or ... Ahem... the skull. Soft skull variations of the Homo Sapient are naturally excluded... It is all a conspiracy ... all of it I tell you. Invest in aluminum foil stocks today! Trade in your steel pot for an aircraft grade aluminum pot. Coming soon!... The Illuminum alloy advanced counter psi ops tactical skull cap. NSN: IM8UP-86ME Resist mind control today! :S

jmz5
10-14-2006, 11:34 AM
rotflmao

Jdomin
10-19-2006, 09:39 PM
how do you fold the tin foil hat?

btown02
10-19-2006, 10:17 PM
how do you fold the tin foil hat?
Welcome to the forum. That would be very carefully. :)

p99guy
10-19-2006, 11:27 PM
peanut butter helps retain the foil beenie on windy days....chunky style can cause discomfort.

Medula Oblongata
10-20-2006, 05:15 AM
peanut butter helps retain the foil beenie on windy days....chunky style can cause discomfort.

So THATS what I've been doing wrong.. And to think that I once believed that the chunky peanut butter was not only a gentle adhesive, but a fetching and attractively odorous pomade... Boy do I feel silly!!! From now on its Jif for me (extra smooth and creamy... YUM).

kamo
10-20-2006, 08:57 AM
Yeah Ryan, and i think from this recent picture, you might want to add more foil.

http://www.raptureready.com/photo/tulsa2/z56.jpg