View Full Version : Letter from Osama

06-21-2006, 06:02 PM
To: All Al Queda Fighters

From: Bin Laden, Osama

Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really
come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a
jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid
excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to
sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster ... have you?
I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halaal

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare the **** out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that
while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or

keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairymilk chocolates recently, clearly wrote
"Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my
Dairymilk slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance
ourselves from the infidels' bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy
Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS DONKEYS" on the group toilet
wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me whilst I was relieving myself
at the edge of the mountain, so stop that nonsense. Thanks

Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that
the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of
the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a
grey area.)

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug.


PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.

Cut it out, it's not funny anymore


06-21-2006, 06:07 PM
Outstanding. :D

06-21-2006, 06:11 PM
Good one Kamo.

06-21-2006, 06:15 PM
haha, that's great.

06-21-2006, 06:33 PM

06-21-2006, 06:36 PM
Haha, Sweet

06-21-2006, 06:45 PM
LMAO that is great stuff right there

06-21-2006, 06:57 PM
haha, kamo does everything but work at his job, lol

06-21-2006, 08:39 PM
still giggling

06-21-2006, 08:41 PM
haha, kamo does everything but work at his job, lol
And what is it that you do at your job again? :)

06-22-2006, 09:15 AM

06-22-2006, 09:17 AM
Don't take that from jmz5. :)

06-22-2006, 09:20 AM
Hahahah, i am lucky enough that I can mess around on the internet while I work.

06-22-2006, 09:29 AM
These letters and articles lately are the greatest. What talent we have on this forum.

06-22-2006, 03:39 PM
hey jmz...how does a donkey (or chicken) back into someone at the edge of a mountain? i don't get it. :D